Sunday, January 6, 2013
Falling asleep to the sound of rain is the best thing ever. The way the raindrops hit the ground and roof in a fast, steady, soothing rythm. The smell of it, drifting into my room through the closed windows. The thunder, loud and clear, echoing in my skull and in my chest, causing the cabinets to shake and rattle for a few seconds, then calms downn, fades away. I listen to the rain and breath in, and out, and in, and out...
Saturday, January 5, 2013
It's amazing how music can affect how I'm feeling. Escpecially if there's a certain song I used to listen to a lot and then stopped, and then listened to again, months afterwards, and I realise that I was a whole different person now than I was then. I felt different feelings, thought different thoughts. And suddenly, when I listen to this song, all of who I was and what I was going through flows through me and I remember.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Lately, the concept of infinity has been cropping up a lot in my life. In maths, asymptotes, an infinate line through which a graph can't pass. In physics, a relative concept, undefined and quite fascinating. A book I've recently read, The Fault in our Stars, discusses infinity. But more than that, infinity is how happy I am, and how much I love him, annd how much I miss him, and how glad I am that she's my friend, and how whole I am with the person I am.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Clocks tick at an even pace, right? Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. Sixty tick-tocks per minute, three thousand, six hundred tick-tocks per hour, eighty-six thousand, four hundred tick-tocks per day. So why are there days in which it seems the clock has ticked a million times, and some days that go by in just a few lousy tocks? And why is it the dull, awful, useless days that go by so slowly, and the best times that are over before you know it?
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
I'm sorry. I'm sorry you fell in love with me when I am not able to return that love. I'm sorry that the fact I have a boyfriend caused you pain. I'm sorry I was blind and misleading. I wish it didn't have to be like this. I wish you'd stand up to what you said at first; that you want things to stay okay between us. I wish you hadn't starting distancing yourself from me. I wish I wasn't as selfish. I wish I hadn't broken your heart. I'm sorry.
I have found my other half. My one, my only. My heart, my soul, my muse and inspiration. I have found someone to love. Someone to live with. Someone to live for. Not my first love, but my true love. The truest I have encountered and the truest I believe I ever will encounter. Something I am certain of. Something I can hold on to. Through thick and through thin, through fire and through water, I will stay with you. I love you with all that composes my entire being. I will stay, my love. Forever.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
My dear, dear sister,
I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT SAYING ANYTHING YESTERDAY I AM FORGETFUL AND REALLY REALLY REALLY SORRY.
I'd like to start by saying this isn't just a letter from Red to Kallista. This is a letter from Noam to Michelle. I truly mean every single word here with all my heart.
You are one of the most remarkable human beings I know. I trust you with everything, because I know that I can. You're an amazing friend, and I am proud to be your sister. I count myself lucky to have gotten to know you, because I would be different if it weren't for you. I've learnt so much from you about how to be a person, you're my role model when it comes to treating people and getting through hard times.
I think the most amazing thing about you is your unconditional goodness to everyone. Then again, there's your hilarious hyperness, which is also amazing. And, of course, your incredible writing skill. And the fact that you're one of the most beautiful people I've ever known, and I haven't a clue what you look like.
I'd like to thank you. For being so unconditionally good. For being there for me when I needed someone to talk to. For all the noogies. For all the hugs. For being a friend. For being a sister. For being someone I can trust and rely on. For trusting me in return. For making me smile. For making me laugh. For engaging in the Poke War. For not giving up. For conversations I needed. For conversations I'll never forget. For forgiving me when I had nothing to say. For putting up with my rambles. For helping me through hard times. For sharing your hard times with me. For understanding me. For being one of the main reasons I have faith in a capital-S Something.
I'd like to thank you for being you, and not anyone else.
I want to wish you a happy 17(and-a-day)th birthday. I wish you happiness and wholeness, fun and laughter, love and friendship, faith and strength, friends and family. I wish you everything you'd ever wish for yourself and more.
I love you, Mickey. I am so proud to be able to call you my sister.