Sunday, January 6, 2013
Falling asleep to the sound of rain is the best thing ever. The way the raindrops hit the ground and roof in a fast, steady, soothing rythm. The smell of it, drifting into my room through the closed windows. The thunder, loud and clear, echoing in my skull and in my chest, causing the cabinets to shake and rattle for a few seconds, then calms downn, fades away. I listen to the rain and breath in, and out, and in, and out...
Saturday, January 5, 2013
It's amazing how music can affect how I'm feeling. Escpecially if there's a certain song I used to listen to a lot and then stopped, and then listened to again, months afterwards, and I realise that I was a whole different person now than I was then. I felt different feelings, thought different thoughts. And suddenly, when I listen to this song, all of who I was and what I was going through flows through me and I remember.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Lately, the concept of infinity has been cropping up a lot in my life. In maths, asymptotes, an infinate line through which a graph can't pass. In physics, a relative concept, undefined and quite fascinating. A book I've recently read, The Fault in our Stars, discusses infinity. But more than that, infinity is how happy I am, and how much I love him, annd how much I miss him, and how glad I am that she's my friend, and how whole I am with the person I am.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Clocks tick at an even pace, right? Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. Sixty tick-tocks per minute, three thousand, six hundred tick-tocks per hour, eighty-six thousand, four hundred tick-tocks per day. So why are there days in which it seems the clock has ticked a million times, and some days that go by in just a few lousy tocks? And why is it the dull, awful, useless days that go by so slowly, and the best times that are over before you know it?
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
I'm sorry. I'm sorry you fell in love with me when I am not able to return that love. I'm sorry that the fact I have a boyfriend caused you pain. I'm sorry I was blind and misleading. I wish it didn't have to be like this. I wish you'd stand up to what you said at first; that you want things to stay okay between us. I wish you hadn't starting distancing yourself from me. I wish I wasn't as selfish. I wish I hadn't broken your heart. I'm sorry.
I have found my other half. My one, my only. My heart, my soul, my muse and inspiration. I have found someone to love. Someone to live with. Someone to live for. Not my first love, but my true love. The truest I have encountered and the truest I believe I ever will encounter. Something I am certain of. Something I can hold on to. Through thick and through thin, through fire and through water, I will stay with you. I love you with all that composes my entire being. I will stay, my love. Forever.