In the end, it isn't the dark itself that frightens us. It's what lurks in the shadows, just waiting for us to make that one step out of the road we were destined for that makes us wary, moving slowly, groping for an edge of reality we can hold on to and use as our guide in the dark.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

My Turn to Speak Up

I haven't said anything major yet. I haven't openly sided with any side. I've been watching everything that's been going on lately and I've been objective about it.

I've had enough of this fucked up childish power play. I've had enough of thinking everything's dying down, and then one person comes and fucks everything up again. I've had enough of watching people I consider my friends get hurt, by other people I also consider friends. I've had enough of people saying they're the victim. I've had enough of hiding in the shadows, not saying anything to distinctly attach me to one side or another.

I'm starting my own side. The side that says I've Had Enough. Not because something was done to me personally. On the contrary, I have not been harmed by anyone. I just want these fights to stop! And they won't stop until both sides realize they have to stop.

Here are things I side with:

-People can be on whatever chat they want. They can choose who they want to speak with at a given moment. They can choose who they want to ignore.
This does not mean one can be on a chat where certain people have problems with certain things, and ignore that person.

-People can do whatever the fuck they want, unless it hurts one person and/or more. And it is not your choice to decide whether that person's hurt is genuine or not.

-The hurt cycle has to stop. All you people purposely going on AF just to upset Dragona or anyone else? For fuck's sake just stop it. If you hate him, just go on other chats. Pretend he doesn't exist. I'm sure you'll be much happier like that. Stop being so fucking childish and let the fuck go of things that happened a long time ago. Dragona? Posts like the one you wrote about Skyril have to stop. They just make everyone more and more against you. I understand that you've taken enough crap to last a lifetime, but occasionally, you deserve it. You can be over-controlling sometimes, and some people don't like it, and I don't blame them. But instead of throwing the crap right back at them, be the mature one that says 'I don't have to take this shit from you' and just move on! The fact that you're showing how much it upsets you just makes some people more eager to hurt you. It's twisted, it's wrong, but it's true.

-No more posts about a particular case and/or a particular person doing something wrong. Posts like this always show one side of things. There's always another. There's always some sort of misunderstanding. If people would just stop and fucking talk to the person they think is hurting them, some things won't turn out as bad as they could. This goes the other way around- if you're hurting someone, and they ask you politely, genuinely, "Why??", answer them truthfully. Don't bully, don't insult, say exactly what you think that person has done to deserve what you are doing to them. And if there was a misunderstanding, apologize!

-If you're hurt by someone- tell them! Some people actually don't realize what they're doing or saying is wrong! Don't expect people to read your mind. It much easier to be insensitive on a chat or on comments to a post than in real life. Understand that, accept that, and act accordingly. Do not write a public declaration of what that person has done, because that makes you an empathy-seeking attention-craver. Maybe you aren't, but that's what it seems like to a whole lot of people.

I think that's all. If I've offended anyone here, I'm really sorry. I don't have anything against anyone, and I hope I've never done anything to hurt anyone.

So yeah, I've spoken up now. I hope you guys understand.


Kallista Pendragon- The Beautiful Goddess Queen said...

I understand. Thank you Red. I know many others are behind you inthis too. So to you and the rest, I am sorry for my part. I have taken steps to become a better person and not to fall back into the old Kallista who was so involved in this tangled mess. As someoen who comes from stiff necked family (among other things) meeting others here with clearer and more fresh perspectives has been sometimes painful, but also liberating and helped me to see things in a better light. I like Robin's approach to life. It's simple, strait forward and honest. Just start everyday with a clean slate. This mindset will take me some diciplin to learn cause I have been raised with the oppisite. :P But it's worthwhile and perhaps I can take this approach here too. I know I will have some wonderful faithful friends who will let me know if I stumble again and cause trouble.
All I know is I want to stop hurting people.
*hugs Red* Thanks for still being my friend despite myself.

Eve the ROCK said...

I have my own side. My motto is:

"I don't know what the hell is going on in chat and I choose to be blissfully unaware"

No matter how many speeches you make, there will ALWAYS be sides. I don't want to know which way Blogland/Chat is splitting or who is in which side. Because even if I choose to be neutral, there will ALWAYS be a side I think makes more sense. I will ALWAYS have an opinion, spoken or unspoken. And I don't want to think differently about people. I don't want to silently choose sides and think less of people. I think my way of viewing each one of you guys is fine the way it is. So I'm not making it my business to catch up on all the haps and hows.

Have you noticed that this blue text looks 3D? :D

Red Waterfall said...

*hugs Kal* I'm glad you're being understanding of other people's perspectives, and accepting them. I hope more people involved will choose to say that they don't want to hurt anyone anymore.

Eve, I think you're perfectly right. If I wasn't aware of what exactly was going on, I'd choose to keep it that way, too. I hope you can keep it that way :)
And I never have noticed. But now that I have, yeah, it kinda does XD

Kallista Pendragon- The Beautiful Goddess Queen said...

I was on another chat waiting for some friends. I had my name and pic changed but did not go onto AF. Yet Dragona came ot me and demanded I change my name and pic. HE forced down my throat the rules and said Iwas annoying himand givign him a migrain and breaking my own rules nto to hurt anyone. ANd people thank him for speaking fairly and sincerley? I told him to take me off the friedns list so he would not have to see it and be hurt but as for those other "rules" they wer for AF. I still changed my name quite a bit HE still said Nope to me at my suggestions. I told him that those who go lookign for trouble will find it. HE is telling me thata I dont give a damn about other people yet it is himand Aquila who have been doignthat. I found out I was taken off BSS without even a word. They prolly deleted what I said too. WHy? Cause I did nto agree withthem? :/ They will give an explination I'm sure and rather then finding out for themselves everyone will believe them and take thier word. But they have just poved out in public that I am not safe (nor have been) when talkign to them. I have just been horribly bullyed and punished for not taking it. It again was done in private. It haas gone onso longand many of yo now still wonder why I ran screaming and crying to FB where I thought my family was? really? All the talks I did and self sacrificng for Draquila were ignored. Yo can see that in his posts every time he says I did not talk to them face to face.

Kallista Pendragon- The Beautiful Goddess Queen said...

I've had my voice taken away to many times I its all yoru choice if you wnat to take sides or not. It' shard when "friends" are involved. Butit's up t you if yo see a wrong ans you stand aside. Just don't expect to have soemone on yoru side next time some one takes horrible advantage over you and twist it so it seems otherwise. Not much fun standing alone then. Yo can be sure I did everythign to make those two happy, even goign agains other innocents. I payed for that as I should. But I can't sacrifice myself for them anylonger. They are not listenign to anyone else. I won't say anymore cause I knwo it won't beheard or will be discounted. I'm tired of being abused then to see them act liek the abused and to stand there bleeding and feel the painand be alone.

NJ Maverick (Sigil Student of China Sorrows) said...

1) I completely agree with you Red.
Well done for speaking out I am as aware as you are how hard it is to do that!
2) I am gonna try and be on the Blog more often. Just thought I should let people know so they are prepared to run screaming :P
Apparently I have a nickname at school only learnt about it on my trip it's 'Crazy [Insert my surname here]'
Yeah. I'm gonna go now. *slinks away*

Taia DeMars said...

Red, You've written exactly what I've been meaning to say for a long time now.
I've spent a long while thinking about it, and this is pretty much what I came up with. I'd actually been meaning to write a post about it too. Looks like you beat me to it, huh?

So, thankyou. It means a lot to see that you view it in this way, and that you've spoken up about it.
Hopefully it'll help to get things cleared up again.